Sand and Snow
by Myojo-s-me
Summary: Main: KiraxHitsugaya, sidepairings: NanaoxMatsumoto, HanatarouxHinamori; others: OgidouxIsane, GinxKira, AkonxNemu, RukiaxRenji, onesided HitsugayaxHinamori. K for now, they Rating may rise due to later chapters. We'll see.
1. This needs to be done

Note: Kimi is the girl from Hanatarous rescue squad. She has no name in canon but is called Kimi in some Japanese doujins. Kamio is a name I made up for the girl from the twelfth squad with the chains in her hair.

Pairings: KiraxHitsu, OgidouxIsane, HanaxHina, NanaoxMatsu, onesided HitsuxHina

* * *

"We have to do something about this." Matsumoto leaned forward, her gorgeous breasts swinging forward (and Nanao felt the strong urge to grab the womans gi and pull it up to prevent them from sliding out of it... Not that the ninth division fukutaichou would have minded seeing them too much. Just not in the middle of a meeting.) "As the Shinigami Women Association it's our duty to help out here."

"And what?" Soi Fong leaned back in her seat. Although her hands were busy with sewing (and Nanao really wondered where all the Yoruichi-dolls went to), her ears never left the conversation. "The boy is depressed. And as you just said, all the alcohol in the world doesn't help."

The blonde pouted. "Of course it does! There's nothing better than a good drink! It's just that it does not last..."

"Have you tried candy?" Yachiru climbed the table to grab some sweets that lay in the middle of it. "Byakushi should have some left, he hasn't given any to me for weeks now!"

"I don't think Kuchiki-taichou would give candy to anybody but you." The ninja didn't look up. "Besides, I don't think sugar can heal depression." She gave Unohana a short glance. "Can it?"

The older woman shook her head. "No... I actually don't think that there is any food or beverage that can heal Kira-fukutaichou."

That woke Kiyone, who had been sleeping with the head lying on her crossed arms. "Does that mean there is no way to help him?" The girl's head shot up, just to be punched back by Kimi who sat next to her.

"His suffering is emotional, which means that we have to heal his emotions, not his body, dumbass. There's no use in giving cough syrup to someone who has broken his leg." She paused to avoid the other girl's fist. The pause grew longer when Kiyone actually managed to land a punch and they started a fight (which was soon ended by Unohana glaring at them, though. Both the girls froze and turned silent.)

"Maybe we could find him a lover?"

The fourth division taichou nodded. "That would be a possible way to get him out of his nutshell. Though there are certain conditions such a lover would need to fulfil."

"Conditions?"

Another nod. "Taking into consideration his very situation, yes. You have to know that a major part of his depression is due to his currently very low self-esteem. It would be likely that a strong personality as a lover would make things worse that rather than help."

Her words earned her blank stares, except for Nemu who pressed her fingertips together and already seemed to think about the consequences. "You mean he needs an uke?"

Which left Unohana confused. "What?"

Kimi jumped at the chance to rehabilitate herself. "That means the submissive part of a couple."

"Uhm... yes. That was kind of what I was talking about... Though I see some trouble there. I would have thought about Hinamori, they seemed to be good friends, but..."

"She's a little bit too catatonic?"

"Isane..."

"Is in a steady relationship already. Ogidou-hasseki would be very upset with Kira-"

"Oh. Ok... Since when?"

"About three months now? They aren't too public about it though."

"... Kamio?"

"Nobody from the twelfth, the poor boy has enough problems as he's now... Sorry Nemu."

"No offence taken."

"Screw the girls." Nanao sighed. "How about Hanatarou?"

They considered it.

"Who?"

"My squads seventh seat." Unohana explained. "He might be a good choice, as optimistic as he is..."

"He seems to have a total crush on Hinamori." Kimi smiled. "And, despite her state, she seems to appreciate his tender caring..."

Nanao hid her smile, for she could see how much her ignorance about the happenings in her own squad confused the brown-haired taichou, but knew that the older woman wouldn't want anyone too see it. "There is this brown-haired friend of his..."

"Nobody from the twelfth, how often do I have to mention that?"

Silence.

"MakiMaki!"

"You're kidding?"

"Uhm..." Yachiru stuffed another marshmallow into her mouth. "You're right, he never has any candy!"

Silence.

"How about... I know he isn't submissive or so," a short glance was thrown towards Matsumoto, "But how about Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"You're only mentioning him because he's short."

"Uhm... I guess the answer is yes. But they seemed to get along quite well?"

Matsumoto, who had remained silent until now, tilted her head slightly. "They do. Kira used to move to our division for his paperwork when I and Gin were out drinking... And taichou mentioned that he liked him being around."

Silence.

"But... He isn't exactly what I'd call an uke, although he looks one."

Silence.

"Isn't there a way to make him one?"

They stared at each other.

"If there was... Do you think we could get photographs?"


	2. Drinking your sorrows away

Pairings: NanaoMatsu, KiraHitsu, HanaHina, onesided HitsuHina

* * *

"TAICHOUUUUUUUU!!"

The door burst open and a panting mess of orange and breasts plopped into the tenth division's headquarters. Said Taichou didn't even raise his head to look at his vice. He didn't even answer for a few seconds, what was enough to make the woman feel uncomfortable with the silence. She would have gone on talking anyway, but there was a strange atmosphere in the office she couldn't interpret. Maybe just because she had been absent for to long, being occupied by more important things than work.

"Have you heard? Hinamori has woken up from her catatonic state yesterday and Unohana-taichou said we were all allowed to visit her!" She stood with her hand on her hips, looking at Hitsugaya full of expectation. Seldom she had brought such good news.

But her taichou didn't react at expected. Instead of jumping to his feet and running towards the 4th squad's buildings, he stayed silent for some time, then he spoke, head still lowered. His voice wasn't even annoyed as usual. It wasn't excited either. There was nothing in it, it sounded as if a dead was speaking.

"I know, I already visited her this morning."

She knitted her eyebrows. "But?"

He let her wait for some stressed moments, and she shuddered in the awful silence.

"I guess she doesn't need me anymore."

* * *

"Now, now, taichou, you have to try this, it's my favorite."

The slender boy shook his head, but it seemed somewhat vague, and he couldn't hinder her to fill some more sake into his cup. The fact that his cheeks were already reddening from the alcohol and he couldn't think straight anymore didn't help it much.

"I... I don't think I should..."

"Oh but of course. There isn't anything better than drinking to handle loneliness!" After all, she knew how it felt to be left for someone else's sake... Left by someone who meant everything to one.

He stared into the fluid. "But... it doesn't solve..."

"Does it have to? Is there anything that would?" She shook her head wildly.

"S... S'guess..." He dropped his head to his arms that lay crossed on the table and stared forward emptily. "Bu...but what am I to do if... it cannot..."

She sighed. "Really, taichou. I could help you much better if you'd just tell me what happened."

Silence. When he answered, his voice sounded much clearer than before, as if the memory had the effect of a cold shower to him. "When I visited her... You know, it was early in the morning and not yet visiting hours... But I didn't really want to wait... She wasn't alone though, Hanatarou was with her, and they..."

He fell silent, and Matsumoto had to hide a smile despite herself. Not that she didn't pity her taichou. Just...

They way he told this... Had it been anyone but those three, she would have guessed some compromising situation in that room in which the two involved wasn't supposed to be found. Hence, to those three it most likely was that way. Yet in this case, there had been some innocent talk or holding hands, if very explicit a light kiss. She guessed.

Yet the outcome was the same.

"I... talked to Hanatarou later..." Most likely something in the meaning of 'if you hurt her, I'll kill you'. "And I think it is the best thing for her at the moment... Just..."

"You think there is nobody left for you?"

"Not that!" He gave her one of his usual death glares. "I'm not jealous or something!"

"But you think there is nobody who could possibly love you?"

The boy twitched. "How do you-?"

"Was the same with me." She smiled warmly. "I thought I was too annoying or boring for anybody to like me better than a friend back then... But just the moment I thought myself least attractive someone... jumped me..." Which really was the best way to describe it.

She laughed when she saw Hitsugaya's confused face as he tried to sort out her words. He could easily guess that the first person was Ichimaru, but who was the latter one? "Don't think so much taichou, that hurts. Besides, it doesn't matter here." She ignored his doubtful gaze. "What matters is that there should be somebody who has a crush on you just as it was with me..." A grin. This was the perfect time to set their plans off. "To be exact, there actually is someone who does."

A confused look met her eyes. "Ah?"

"It's Kira!" Matsumoto's triumphant grin would have scared Ichimaru away and let the boy baffled.

"Wha- Kira?! He... he cannot, he's a boy and and he's much older than me... I mean, of course he isn't older than Hinamori but... He's male!"

"As are you."

"Exactly!"

"And Nanao is as female as I am."

Pause. He gaped some moments. "You aren't saying that this person that jumped you..."

"We've been a couple for years now. You really didn't notice that, taichou?"

"No..." At the moment, the white haired was busy putting pieces together, and slowly some things made sense. "But I'm not gay!"

"Of course you're not... Nor am I... You call that bi."

Hitsugaya scowled. "I'm straight."

"Sure you are?" She grinned again. "You've never tried it, huh? Yet here is this poor boy who has a very bad crush on you and would like to be you lover so badly... And you'll reject him if he'd manage to tell you that one day just because you're afraid of something new?" She pouted. "That's mean, taichou."

"I don't feel anything for him."

"But you could give it a try. Feelings develop and grow."

"I could... but..."

She leaned forward and hugged him, ignoring his protests just as usual. "Thank you, taichou!"

And she ignored any objection he raised after that. In the end, she had gotten a promise of him that he wouldn't reject Kira if he declared his love and that he wouldn't hurt the poor boy in any other way.

Really, a very good deed she had done...

With the help of some alcohol, maybe. She really should convince her taichou to go drinking with her more often.


	3. He likes you A lot

"What do you mean, Hitsugaya-taichou has a crush on me?" He tilted his head and stared at her blankly.

How in the worlds could men be so damn _slow_ sometimes?

"A crush. C-R-U-S-H. Like in, likes you very, very much." Matsumoto sighed. Her captain had been a hard one, but Kira was... a totally different story. To put it nice.

"How do you know?"

She nearly scowled but hid it. Playing matchmaker could turn really difficult when people asked iquestions/i. "He told me about it last week."

"Ah." Kira smiled knowingly. "I heard about that. How much alcohol did you make him drink?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "No idea. But he loosened up a lot. Should drag him along to a bar more often. Along with Byakuya, maybe."

The blond fukutaichou shuddered. He would take care to be as far away as possible when she tried _that_. "But... what about Momo?"

"He still loves her I guess, but he's loved her for too long... It grew more a habit than a actual feeling, you know?"

"A habit..."

"Yes. And despite himself, despite that he tells himself that she is the only person that is that important to him... He loves you, Kira."

--

_"Rangiku?" His captain smiled, playing with strands of blond hair. "She's a very good friend... But ya know, she's nothing compared to Aizen-taichou."_

_And the fukutaichou shut his eyes firmly and tried to avert those ice blue eyes, tried to avert the clear implication in those words. Tried to avert what he had already known before, maybe from the beginning._

_Matsumoto was his captain's beloved friend. Aizen was his beloved lover. Kira himself was his plaything._

_The only meaning he held to his captain, the only reason he meant more to him than all those others, was that he belonged to him and he could do as he pleased. Absolute power. Absolute control. That was it._

_Yet Kira had hoped that it was more. Hoped that there was more all the way. All the way until that day the silver haired left._

--

"But why has he never said anything?" he couldn't believe what the tenth division's vice captain said. It was just too strange and unlikely.

She leaned back, putting her gi's fabric to a hard load test; her breasts seemed to want to burst out. "Taichou is more then shy when it comes to positive feelings. Besides, he's quite strong at the denial department." Which got her a confused look. "I mean, he does not only deny his feelings to others but also to himself."

"But why?"

"Who knows? It's taichou."

--

_That was it. He would never understand how his captain could do those things to him. He would never understand why Aizen accepted it. He would never understand why he himself never tried to make it stop._

--

"What am I supposed to do about that?" He didn't really want to elaborate further yet he had to. It was like a delicious drug. Something he desperately needed yet did not want to meddle with ever again.

"Uhm... that is why I was talking to you... You know..." She sighed. "I want taichou to be happy, and I think you could be happy with him, too. So..."

He didn't answer. Did wait for her words.

"Could you please ask taichou out?"


	4. What the hell is this

HitsuKira

* * *

"What is this supposed to be?" Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched, and his lieutenant hurried over, yawning openly. His disapproving voice had shaken her from her late-afternoon nap.

"I thought you'd need it, so I took advance of being assigned to the real world yesterday and bought some..." She smiled sheepishly. "Should I have chosen a different color?"

"..." He cautiously lifted one of the items in the small, discreet box and eyed it suspiciously, ignoring her rambling.

"That, taichou, is a -"

"I know what it is!" A light pink heated his cheeks. "I meant to ask _why_ it had to be something like this!" He pointed at it accusingly.

"But taichou!" The blond woman protested. "You have to play safe!"

"Play _WHAT_ safe?!"

Matsumoto would have loved to have Renji here at the moment, just to check if the tattooed man's hair was a lighter shade of red than her captains head. She suspected it was.

"Matsumoto, I'm not going to have- to do- I won't need that because I won't have s- do anything I'd need this for." He flipped the small package of rubber over to her. "Plus, even if I was planning to which I am definitely not," She wouldn't have thought he could flush to an even darker red. She was just proven wrong. "this is to prevent pregnancy, right? The only person you could have thought about when buying this should have been Kira, and..." He pressed his fingertips to his temples, obviously trying to regain his composure. "_men are biologically unable to give birth to babies!_"

She wouldn't comment on it (she liked her life, thank you), but watching the white haired prodigy nearly biting his tongue off while trying to talk about something he wouldn't have admitted to be even _thinking_ of normally was just too utterly cute. She couldn't but hug him when looked like this.

"MATSUMOTO!" He tried to free himself, rose from his chair halfway and both shinigami toppled over, pulling the box to the floor in the course of it. The content dispersed over the whole room. "Let go!" The boy's voice sounded more panic than anything else, and she let go of him, startled.

"What is it?"

"The whatever-you-bought are splayed all over the room, we have to put them back into the box before someone-"

It knocked. After some moments of horrified paralysis, Hitsugaya got up slowly, went over and opened the door just enough to slip out. Which let him bump into Kira, who had been waiting directly in front of the door. Both men jumped back from the sudden contact and stared at each other for several awkward moments.

The knowledge of how the other one felt about him, and for Hitsugaya, even more what Matsumoto had just suggested them to do, was just too much to talk properly at the moment.

The silence was broken by the large breasted woman inside the office. "Taichou? Who is it?"

"Uhm." Kira cleared his throat. "It's me, Kira." He continued now, speaking as fast as he could. "Renji asked you if you wanted to come, it's Yumichika's birthday party and he'd like to be as many people as possible there... Tomorrow evening at eight o'clock over at Iba's place."

He realized how impolite he had just been and gulped. "Oh, and, Hitsugaya-taichou, you're invited too, of course!" Nobody had. Nobody did invite Hitsugaya, ever. Nor Kuchiki-taichou or Yamamoto-soutaichou. To be correct, captains in general... There were people that weren't given an invitation, just because everybody was sure that they wouldn't come anyway, and if, that they would out of place at least. The only exceptions were Kyouraku and had been Gin, who came anyway. And Kenpachi, sometimes. When there was a good sake. Even Ukitake was there sometimes when dragged along by his friend, but that didn't happen very often.

But as things were, there was no choice Kira couldn't. And, as soon as the blond had said those words of invitation, there was no choice for Hitsugaya, either.

He knew that his fukutaichou would bug him until he promised to go there. Until the party started, if necessary.

He sighed. "Thanks, Kira. Anything else?"

"Uhm, yes, those files..." He held out some sheets of paper. "It's about the transfer shinigami."

The shorter man took the forms and tried very hard not to stop the blood from rushing back to his head when their hands touched for a short moment. Damn it, this whole thing confused him totally. He really had to stop that.

He would tell Matsumoto that he wasn't going to do any dating with any guys the moment Kira was gone.

Stop. Did he stand any chance that he would win? Taken into consideration that Matsumoto wouldn't do anything but plotting for the next day...

Not really. But as soon as the party was over, he would. For sure.

He waited until Kira had left, then he opened the door carefully, slid it shut instantly after entering and nearly toppled over when stomping onto another one of Matsumoto's gifts. He scowled, picked it up and glared at it. Had it been alive, his look would have killed it for sure.

"And what is this one?"

She grinned widely. "That one you'll surely need. It's called lube."

And why was he absolutely sure that he didn't want to know what it was used for at the moment?


	5. A normal party

Note: Sorry it took so long. I'm currently without a beta, and wanted to wait until I have one. But seeing I won't find one soon I'll upload this now.

Pairings: NanaoxMatsumoto, KiraxHitsugaya (sidepairings: AkonxNemu, OgidouxIsane, RukiaxRenji,

* * *

Kira sighed and poured himself another cup of sake. He hadn't felt so very uncomfortable in weeks, maybe never since his taichou had left.

This had been a bad evening from the very beginning, and it seemed to worsen every minute. Not that it had started of too bad.

They had come together, and he, Renji, Iba and Hisagi had claimed a table in the back of the room. It hadn't been long until Akon and Ogido sat down there as well, Akon bringing some extra alcohol that neither of them would drink unless they were too drunk to remember that he was from the twelfth division. Which was hard regarding the prominent horns at the man's forehead.

But then... Iba had been dragged away by Kiyone and Kimi for a drinking game, and Akon had followed them, because he had caught a glimpse of Nemu's long white legs over there. Ogido had left shortly after, when Isane appeared. Renji tried to flee when a highly angered Rukia had entered the room, yet it hadn't taken long for the fight to end into them leaving to search a room for themselves. In the end, only Kira was left. He wouldn't have cared too much, he was used to it, and after all it was better to have some time for himself than to be in unpleasant company. But still... Sitting alone while everybody was busy flirting (or beyond) wasn't too nice an evening. He had had better parties. "Kira~kuuun." He turned to face a clearly drunk Matsumoto that sat nearby, legs sprawled on the floor, leaning against Nanaos half exposed breasts, one hand stroking the shorter woman's thigh lazily, head tilted back to rest on her lover's shoulder. She was watching him through heavy lidded eyelashes, smiling genuinely. He nearly choked at the view; what had Matsumoto made her girlfriend drink? Nanao preferred private things to stay... private. Normally. But now this was...

"Yes?"

"Would you mind taking taichou home?" The woman nodded in the general direction of the white haired boy that sat next to her, head lying on his arms, sleeping. "I guess he drank either too less or too much sake, and since Nanao here," she patted the thighs around her absentmindedly, "seems to have no intention of letting me go already..." She smiled brightly.

"... And I have nothing to do at the moment anyway, you ask me to carry him home?"

"Yes!" She grinned. "Good boy!"

He sighed. "Ok."

And thus, he found himself walking the abandoned nightly streets of western Seireitei, as he had done so many, many nights before. But this time he wasn't alone. He carried a lowly snoring, small bundle of black and white, and when he turned his head far enough to the side to catch a glimpse of the childlike face with the alcohol-reddened cheeks, he was surprised how peaceful Hitsugaya could look. He had never before seen the frown faltering nor vanishing, and now, that it wasn't there anymore, he realized how actually grown up the boy's features were.

Everyone, including Kira himself, believed that the angry facial expression hid a childlike, vulnerable baby face. It didn't. Although the blond found that it was adorable nonetheless.

He had seen others sleeping the same way. Whatever the party was, in the end he was the only one not to drunk to walk and had to carry someone home; that was part of why he enjoyed drinking with Hisagi and Matsumoto so much. Nobody expected the others to have particular fun in it, nobody cared how much the others were drinking and what they did during it. It was only about drinking. Nothing more. And Kira, who would have never dared to drink alone (he knew how dangerous alcohol could become) desperately needed those few times he could drown in his own sorrow or just forget about everything, even if they always left his head throbbing for two or three days.

It were the only times he wasn't left to take care of others afterwards.

On the contrary, it would always be Hitsugaya to find them and call for Tousen to walk his vice home. But he never, ever had called for Ichimaru. Most likely because of the very obvious strong hatred the shorter captain felt towards his senior. No. Kira and Matsumoto he would drag to Matsumoto's room, lay out two futons there and provide them with clear water.

Then, he would sit by the window, doing his paperwork and watching over them until he was sure they were going to be ok. Although he most likely never drank, he knew about the dangers of too much alcohol just as well as the third division's vice captain.

Kira smiled at the memory. He and the small captain had never exchanged any words about those peaceful moments, that made the vice captain feel so ...safe. He knew, Hitsugaya wouldn't have wanted to hear that he actually did notice him, despite his drunkeness.

But now, the intoxicated one was the white haired, and he had to carry him home. It wasn't so unfair or particularly bad, after all. The captain wasn't heavy nor did he snore loudly, he wasn't in danger of being suffocated by the boy's breasts, his hair would not be sticky for days because the carried one's face was covered in sugar and sirup, he wasn't lamenting about his deceased wife (which had really been the worst party-after ever) nor murmuring his captain's name all the time and he didn't molest him. He had to admit that he quite liked it, the cool bundle on his back nice against his skin in the hot summer's night, the light scent of snow that still carried through that of the alcohol, the light heaving of the small chest that was the only sound except of his own steps.

It felt calming.

He was wandering the nightly streets of Seireitei, and, if he had been able to, he might have halted the time. Because, for something that was quite likely the first time in his life, he really felt at peace. He hadn't to do anything, there was nothing to fear. He would just walk on forever, and everything would be fine.

A sudden movement of the former limp body shook him from his trance, and then, he felt soft, small lips press gently, shyly to his cheek. When he turned his head, he saw heavy-lidded turquoises look at him. Hitsugaya looked dizzy, but nonetheless his expression was the friendliest Kira had ever seen at him.

"Thanks." There was even an ever-so-light smile on the icy lips, and then the boy's head fell back to the blonde's shoulder. It took Kira some moments to recover from the shock the captain's behavior had caused him. He shook his head slightly to get his head free.

He hadn't believed what Matsumoto had told him until now. He knew that it couldn't be. Because...

But she seemed to be right, somewhat. It seemed if there was really some kind of affection the small captain felt towards him.


	6. Early morning is a time I fear

Pairings: GinxKira (noncon), friendship!KiraHana

Still lacking a beta-reader.

* * *

He woke up to the first light of the day, opening his eyes slowly to stare at the ceiling. His head wasn't throbbing, despite the fact that he had been to a party the day before. Normally, he would try to fall back asleep to block the hurt, and when he couldn't, get up to make himself some coffee and then go and search Hanatarou. The medic would take care of it, and then they would eat breakfast together.

Those shared mornings had become a habit of them long ago. It had started even before Kira had made Fukutaichou, when his world was still bright and shining. He had came across some 11th division guys bullying the healer, and told them to let go of their prey. Of course they hadn't, and, reagarding the fact that most of them were twice his own size, Kira hadn't really thought they would from the very beginning. Instead, one of them tried to launch a kick at the blond; something the noble had seen coming. And prepared for.

A well placed kidou spell, and then the taller boy had grabbed the medic by the hand and run. The bullies' confusion had been complete, and the time they had started to chease them, Hanatarou and Kira had long been away.

They had stayed in contact after that incident, not too much, but enough to always be up to date about each other. Hanatarou had been the first to congratulate Kira when he finally made fukutaichou, with Renji being plain jealous and Hinamori being too busy stalking Aizen-taichou. Hanatarou had also been the first and only person he had thought of when his new captain's harassing became worse and he felt that he needed help. Not help in a way that his captain would stop; he knew far too well that there could be none, that it was a not just intimate but internal matter, and that not even a captain would have the right to interfere.

Rather help with some of the wounds, and more than anything, someone to talk to who wouldn't ask him questions. He knew Renji would; he knew Hanatarou wouldn't.

Not that the boy didn't care; Kira was sure he did, maybe more than any of his few other friends. Rather, because he seemed to believe just as strongly as the blond himself that someones personal affairs were personal until one himself wanted to talk about it.

And when the harassment became daily, he and Hanatarou had made a habit of beginning their days with a hurried, shared breakfast. Maybe, Kira considered sometimes, it were those little moments that made him survive. Survive until, finally, everything he had knewn was shattered by the leave of not only his own captain, but also the captain he had idolized the most.

He shook his head to clear it off a little bit. No throbbing.

Which meant, that either he hadn't drunk much - which was highly unlikely, because it being a party meant Matsumoto being there, Matsumoto being there meant her drinking much, and she never ever drank alone. If not... He didn't want to think of that option yet couldn't ignore it. Couldn't ignore it despite trying so badle, despite clinging to the reality that had been so very clearly there just a few seconds before with all he had. It crept into his mind, telling him that...

Or he hadn't been drinking at all. Still slowly, ever so slowly, he tilted his head a little to the side, looking over to the shut door that divided the fukutaichou's and the taichou's rooms. Or should have. Kira had kept that door shut ever since Ichimaru-taichou had left. Ever.

But now it was wide open, and... He shuddered.

Second option. He hadn't been drinking the night before. Hadn't been drinking any of the nights before. Hadn't had this much free leisure time. How could he have considered that dream reality?

Over there, under the sheets of the western style bed, lay his captain. Kira could see the silver hair clearly, he even noticed the waraji and haori that lay at the ground. His captain had never been one of the tidy kind - he knew his vice captain would pick his things up anyway.

But, the blond decided, it had been a nice dream. And quite a graphic one, too. Although it already began to loose color, he knew that he had been rather happy in it. Maybe, if he closed his eyes again and pretended to sleep, it would last a little bit longer?

They lay there in total silence, the sleeping white haired captain at the one, the daydreaming blond vice captain at the other side of the room that wasn't parted by a door anymore.

Until the captain's sheets rustled. Kira didn't dare to move, he didn't want to catch the man's attention. Most of the times, Ichimaru-taichou left his bed and went directly to the bathroom or the kitchen. That was, if he wasn't in the mood for some fun in the early morning... And this was seldom fun for Kira.

Thus, the noble's breath skipped for a second when he heard the footsteps not turning towards the door but towards him. No... he didn't want to... not again...

"Are you awake?"

He pressed his eyes tightly shut and rolled up into something like a fetal position. "Yes, Taichou." His words were nearly unhearable, stifled by the sheet that pressed against his face. It carried far enough, anyway.

His words were followed by a short silence and then Kira shuddered because he could hear fabric rustle and feel how someone kneeled down onto the futon right next to him.

"Are you ok?"

How he hated the irony of his captain's. What should he answer to this? "No, Taichou, but I was until you entered my life?" Not really.

The pause stretched to the point when slender fingers touched the blond's back.

"Can I help you?"

He didn't have to answer. He knew what kind of help it was... he knew his captain would "help" regardless what he himself did.

The young man squirmed when the hand left his back and reappeared on his head, pushing the hair from his face cautiousely. He knew what would come... what would happen... He'd really need Hanatarou today. Again.

"You don't look well, Kira." How he hated that faked caring. Ichimaru-taichou was the most careless person in the world, at least when it came to other souls.

"I'm sorry, Taichou."

The other seemed confused. Confused? Why was he confused? Ichimaru-taichou wasn't confused, never. "That's nothing to be sorry about. Shall I contact the fourth division?" He wouldn't, whatever Kira said. In the beginning, he had thought these worried comments to be real. He knew better now.

"No, I am fine."

"Then why... Listen, Kira, if you don't tell me what it is, I cannot do anything."

How he wished this guy would use his family name, just how it was appropriate for captain and subordinate - not, that there weren't many other things inappropriate in their relationship. But his name... he had never liked his first name, and as soon as his Taichou found out about it, he had started to call him it.

The blond really wished he would call him Kira. Despite everything. Wait. He actually had. The captain _had_ said "Kira". For the second time now, the vice captain finally realized.

Which was just too strange, it didn't make any sense at all.

Confused, he raised his head from his knees a little, opened his eyes just enough to see. If that had been his captain's purpose, he was baited well.

But it wasn't Ichimaru his eyes fell upon.

With a look one his face that was more worried than the blond had ever seen on him before, there sat Hitsugaya-taichou.


End file.
